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Dear Rain,
I was listening to an interview you were on and you said you
battled depression for a long time and now you are happy every day. How do you stay happy? Are you truly happy every day?
Dear Reader,
Wow, happy every day?
That is a tall order! I am trying
to rack my brain and go back to where I might have said that. Without taking the two hours to listen to my
two interviews (you can find them at http://coachingwithrain.com/08events.htm)
to verify what I said, let me be straight with you right now. I am officially not happy all day, every
day. I am happy every day for moments,
yes that is true, but all day, no I don't understand that reality. Here is what is the
difference in my life; I focus on my happiness, not
my darkness.
When you have lived with depression for 25 years, it really
is not something that magically disappears.
It is a process and a practice. Most people I know who have found
joy after depression have made it their life’s purpose to surround themselves with joyful people, share their knowledge with as many who will listen, and practice daily activities that support their
happiness. I am one such a person.
I am diligent, on alert and have created a whole
tool box of ways to get out of the darkness fast. When depression comes, I no longer see it as a box with no way out. I see it more like a puzzle you already know how to solve.
Here is a recent example:
When the cold came and the snow fell, I no longer found joy
in my daily walks with my husband. It
was just too cold outside. My treadmill is
surrounded by boxes of a certain children’s book you might have heard
about. The smell from these supposedly
earth-friendly books is too much for a chemically sensitive person such as
myself. So I felt trapped. No comfortable walk outside, no healthy walk inside, so I stopped walking. After week two began, I noticed a shift in my
attitude. I was starting to focus on the
negative and not the positive. I knew I was heading into darkness.
Something had to happen and fast. After I
commented to my husband about my thoughts, I took action. I began raising the amount of time I spent
meditating, dancing, standing up, while lowering my time on the computer and
sitting. This was enough to energize me,
though it wasn’t for 3 days until I felt a dramatic shift in my awareness. It
really hit me like a brick and I fell back
into my awareness. I was aware of where I had
tight muscles in my body, the lack of gratitude in my heart, and the melancholy thoughts I
had in my head. I laughed. I was free
and fell back into the woman I know I am.
Happy, aware, and grateful.
As you have already read I have my self-care routine and it is crucial to my happiness. Exercise, meditation, healthy foods, joyful friends, and awareness are all part of keeping me on my authentic path of joy. So if you are lacking in this department, take one step at a time. Allow the time to adjust to each new action. The road to happiness is paved with effort, practice and lots of useful tools.
It is possible to find happiness every day. I bet you already have a lot more than you think. Here is what I challenge you to do: Start a happiness journal. This is something like a gratitude journal, just a bit easier to do. You might have entries like:
- found a penny
- laughed at a movie
- smiled at a stranger
- had a happy memory
Each entry is a reminder to yourself how much you experience happy thoughts in your daily life. Awareness is everything. If you find yourself struggling with depression and you are starting to drown, please call for help! Your ego is strong and until you find help, you may not have the tools you need to manage it. Don't believe you are suppose to go it alone. Find a therapist, counselor, or coach and be honest about you desire for joy. You just might find that in your asking, the universe shifts to find your answer.
smiles and inspiration!
Rain
You can find out more about Rain and life coaching at her website:
Copyright 2009 by Rain Fordyce